2014.3.2托福独立写作范文+解析

  题：Agree or disagree: the rules that the society today requires young  people to follow and obey are too strict.

        题型：现象证明
        角度：具象拆分
        观点：让步段

 
        开头：现代社会要求年轻人遵循的规则不严格。（话题引入+双方/某方观点+明确立场及过渡）
        It is not always easy for young people to make a living in society, not only because they are confronted with mounting pressure brought by an expanding population, but also they are confined to all kinds of written or unwritten social rules. But some people claim that with the rapid progress of society, the rules that the young people have to follow are not as strict as they were in the past. As for me, I am in agreement with the viewpoint above, and my reasons and examples are given below. (91字)

 

        中间段1：在谈恋爱方面，年轻人现在拥有更多的自由。（哪个方面+案例展开+细节例子）
        The first example is associated with "puppy love". It was long believed that puppy love was so harmful to youngsters’ academic performance that school authorities as well as parents rigorously forbid them to have romance. But changes have taken place in the public idea of this issue. Young people are no longer required to restrain their desire to find a girlfriend or boyfriend because the public begins to realize that it is not wise to go against the laws of nature. For example, I have two classmates who are in love with each other, and they study together, eat together and hang out together with no one else standing in the way. It seems that their grades are not affected at all. (122字)

        中间段2：在找工作方面，托关系这种潜规则不复存在。（案例来源+案例展开+细节例子）
        The second example comes from the aspect of job-hunting. In my country, getting a decent job without using "backdoor policy" was once almost impossible. Whether a young person found a nice job depended on his families' social backgrounds, rather than his real capabilities. Gradually, the public found out that the nepotism easily resulted incorruption, which could badly threaten the principle of social justice and fairness. Today's young people are not asked to obey those "unwritten rules" behind the job-hunting. They can really enjoy competing with peers in a fair environment. We can see that nowadays young people from poor family stand a fair chance to be top-notch technologists, professors or managers. (112字)

        让步段：当然，在一些法律或道德层面，对年轻人的约束还在。比如判断婴儿性别的堕胎、吸毒等。但是总体大环境而言，年轻人受制的规则少了，自由更多了。（承认漏洞+堵漏）
        Admittedly, strict restraints on young people still exist in terms of laws and morality such as abortion based on sex selection and drug abuse, because those aspects are the bottom lines of the society. It should be every social member's responsibility to defend those lines from being broken. However, in aspects above bottom lines, the society is becoming more relaxing and tolerant, which enables young people to enjoy more freedom with fewer rules. (73字)

        结尾：重申观点，归纳理由/升华主题
        From what has been discussed above, we can safely draw a conclusion that young people are in a much more tolerant society with fewer strict rules. Just as a proverb that goes, "where there is oppression, there is opposition". A dynamic and peaceful society must be a place where every member, especially young people, are given an extraordinary degree of freedom, and it is my luck to live in such a society.（72字）

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