杨可斐：托福独立写作学生习作详细评析 PART14

杨可斐   南京新航道雅思、托福、SAT写作、语法课程主讲。英文功底扎实，授课耐心细致极具亲和力，善于培养学生的学习兴趣，让学生在轻松的氛围中获得提高。

Do youagree or disagree with the following statement? Technology designed to make ourlife simpler actually makes our life more complicated.

specialone

Along with the drastic development of science and technology, many a usefulhigh-tech tool emerges and eases our life unprecedentedly. However, contrary tothat（the） superficial opinion（不要说对方观点肤浅，否则会显得你很肤浅。因为托福作文两方观点没有正误，你要阐述自己理由说服别人，而千万不能用贬低别人观点的方法来说服别人。） that these tool（复数） aretruly making our life simpler, I personally hold the perspective that these seeminglyhelpful objects are actually making our life more complicated on the basis ofthe following analysis.

First ofall, every coin has two sides and these technologies are not exceptional. Theside effect along with some technologies’ expansion is in reality casttremendous threat(s) to us. For instance, much convenience we arenow embracing is based on the invention of the Internet, which enables us tohave large access to copious amount of information. However, it is exactly theInternet that gets us involved in many problems. A recent report haspointed out clearly that people nowadays tend to communicate with eachother with their smartphones rather than talking face to face even they are infront of each other! (这句话的意思似乎表达了：面对面的时候也要打着电话沟通，这显然是不对的。而应该表达大家更倾向打电话而不是面对面instead of)Agroup of friends sits(数) down to ameal together, laughing, swapping stories, and catching up on the news – but not necessarily with thepeople(不懂。。。) in front of them!  It isthe weirdest scenario I have ever seen.（是否奇怪，观众判断，摆这句话没用，重点要解释weird的原因：是高科技带来的） Tragically, it happens all the time. The communicationbased on the Internet is absolutely not as effective and far-reaching ascommunication face to face, which used to be the most common way and has beendrastically impaired. Moreover, the huge distraction from the Internet also hindersthe efficiency of study and work. Countless examples about how children or evenadults who get addicted to computer games finally failed in everything reveal vividly（这里是个负面例子，应该是强有力地说明，而不是生动地说明，这是形容褒义的） the dark side（言重了） broughtby those advanced technologies, which in reality is making our life moreintricate.

Secondly,it is seemingly true that copious amount of high-tech products are easing ourlife and relieving us from cumbersome work, such as irrigating the field andharvesting crops. These work, actually, provided us an extremely perfectopportunity to get exercise, strengthening our body and keeping us healthy.With the help of these technologies, people do not have to do these manual workand thus, thus lose enough exercise to stay healthy. According to a surveypublished several years ago, the diseases rate, including heart attack andliver cancer, among farmers in East China has tripled during last decade, whichwas exactly the same period when mechanical agriculture instruments prevailedin China.Suffering from these disease and weakened body, how can we conclude that thesetechnologies are actually easing our life?

这段写的不合理。你没有区分明白两个词，就是：运动和劳动。农民整天在地里辛勤地劳动完全不能等同于是一种运动。

劳动是繁重的，迫不得已的，常年反复重复一个动作

而运动是健康的，协调的，是全身各种功能的一种锻炼

高科技的发展给我们带来了跑步机，足不出户就能锻炼，同时高科技向我们传播了更健康有效的锻炼方法。这些你咋不说呢？这段内容完全不能说服我，建议重写。

Admittedly,the boom of technology does brings us huge convenience, making it possible totravel around the world in several days, enabling people to contact mutually even they arefar away from each other and so on. The undeniable drawbacks along with them,however, cannot be ignored and we should always be aware of that thesetechnologies are in reality making our life more complicated.

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