支招托福写作 | 学术讨论范文（2）

　　支招托福写作 | 学术讨论范文（2）今天，新航道南京托福培训机构小编分享托福考试真题范文。每一篇范文都经过新航道的专业托福写作团队精心校审，并附有详细的范文点评、构思指导以及精选词汇和句子汇总，参加托福考试的同学们赶快学习起来吧!

　　完整版范文内容来啦

　　Question

　　Your professor is teaching a class on business. Write a post responding to the professor’s question.

　　In your response, you should do the following.

　　- Express and support your opinion.

　　- Make a contribution to the discussion in your own words.

　　An effective response will contain at least 100 words.

　　Dr. Achebe

　　We’ve been discussing business strategies and the attitudes of business people toward risk and opportunity. The scientist Albert Einstein once said that a person who never made a mistake never tried anything new. He was probably referring to physics, but l wonder how this attitude might apply to the business world. Do you think it is a good business strategy to take continual risks even though they might result in mistakes that could affect a company negatively?

　　Paul

　　I think this strategy can easily backfire on a business person. I’ve seen companies conduct endless cycles of product enhancements in an effort to capture some other market share. But in reality, they just damage their own brand by sacrificing too much of the original content that made the product popular in the first place.

　　Claire

　　I disagree with Paul. Most profitable businesses have used this strategy or they would have never made it to the top. If you plan to grow a business aggressively, some mistakes along the way are inevitable. Too much caution or too much emphasis on avoiding mistakes can really prevent growth.

　　范文正文

　　I firmly believe that continuously taking risks in business is crucial, even if it may lead to negative impacts.【宾语从句+让步状语从句】One reason is that risk-taking often comes with innovation and transformation, allowing companies to seize new growth opportunities.【表语从句+分词短语】In other words, businesses that ward off risks are less likely to retain their edge and market positions in the long run.【定语从句】For example, Nokia was once the world’s largest mobile phone manufacturer, holding over 40% of the market share in the early 2000s. However, faced with competition from Apple’s iOS and Google’s Android,【分词短语】Nokia retreated from developing novel operating systems and instead banked on its outdated Symbian system. Moreover, while revolutionary companies like Apple and Samsung thrived through trial and error,【让步状语从句】Nokia did not venture sufficiently into new businesses and technological areas, such as touchscreen technology and building an application ecosystem. Consequently, Nokia’s reluctance to step out of its comfort zone caused a dependence on a single product, inevitably culminating in a loss of market competitiveness and a rapid decline in market dominance over time.【分词短语】To conclude, taking chances in business is of great strategic importance.

　　写作思路和特色

　　这道题是2024年4月17日托福学术讨论写作真题。教授提问：即便持续冒险可能对公司造成不利影响，这是否仍是一种良好的商业策略？Paul认为这种做法容易产生反效果，例如有些公司频繁地更新和升级产品，反而损害了品牌的原始特色；而Claire持有不同意见，她认为企业在追求盈利和业务拓展的过程中，犯错是在所难免的，过于小心或是过分强调避免错误实际上可能会限制公司的成长。

　　这篇文章采用了“个人观点+因果论证+举例论证+总结”的写作结构，以诺基亚的例子来阐述在商业中不断冒险的重要性。文章首先强调，勇于冒险的行为通常与创新和变革相伴而行，这有助于企业抓住新的增长机遇。相比之下，那些规避风险的企业很难在长期中维持其竞争优势和市场地位。随后，文章通过诺基亚的例子来阐述这一点，诺基亚曾一度是全球的手机制造商。然而，面对苹果iOS和谷歌Android的竞争，诺基亚选择了按兵不动。这种保守的态度导致诺基亚未能积极开拓新的业务和技术领域。相比之下，像苹果和三星这样的革新型企业通过持续的试验和迭代取得了成功。诺基亚的保守策略使其过分依赖单一产品线，最终失去了市场竞争力，并迅速丧失了其市场领导地位。文章在结尾部分再次强调了冒险精神在商业策略中的重要性。整篇文章结构条理清晰，语言精炼准确，论证逻辑严密，逐步展开，并通过具体案例分析和数据支持增强了论点的说服力，帮助读者清晰地理解文章的观点和论证流程。

　　用词用语整理

　　【表语从句+分词短语】

　　“One reason is that risk-taking often comes with innovation and transformation, allowing companies to seize new growth opportunities.” 这个句子使用主从复合句结构，增加句型多样性，突出了企业通过冒险获得新增长机会的观点，为整篇文章的论证奠定了基础。

　　【让步状语从句】

　　“Moreover, while revolutionary companies like Apple and Samsung thrived through trial and error, Nokia did not venture sufficiently into new businesses and technological areas, such as touchscreen technology and building an application ecosystem.” 这句话使用了让步状语从句，对比了苹果和三星等企业通过反复试错蓬勃发展的情况，突出了诺基亚在探索新业务和技术领域方面的保守策略。

　　【分词短语】

　　“Consequently, Nokia’s reluctance to step out of its comfort zone caused a dependence on a single product, inevitably culminating in a loss of market competitiveness and a rapid decline in market dominance over time.” culminating in现在分词短语清晰地表达了诺基亚因不愿走出舒适区而导致的后果，进一步支持了文章的论点。

　　ward off(避免)：ward off可以用作avoid的同义替换，避开或防止某种不好的事物，比如疾病或危险。

　　例句：The garlic and herbs in the soup helped ward off the cold that was going around.汤里的大蒜和香草有助于预防流行性感冒。

　　retain an edge(保持优势)：注意这里的edge是优势的意思，常见短语有competitive edge(竞争优势)。除了retain，保持优势还可以与keep、maintain做搭配。

　　例句：Regular exercise helps athletes retain an edge over their competitors.定期锻炼帮助运动员保持对竞争对手的优势。

　　retreat from(撤退，退出)：指从某种活动、位置或责任中撤离或退出，通常是因为危险、困难或失败。

　　例句：He decided to retreat from the argument before things got too heated.他决定在事情变得过于激烈之前退出这场争论。

　　bank on(依赖，指望)：通常指对某事或某人有信心或期待，但是该表达在这篇文章中的用法是负面的，表示依赖或指望一个过时的系统或方法，暗示依赖过时系统可能带来的局限性。

　　例句：They’re still banking on their outdated marketing strategy to attract customers.他们仍然依赖过时的营销策略来吸引顾客。

　　trial and error(反复试验)：通常用于描述一种反复试验的过程，在过程中会有成功和失败，但每次失败都是为了最终的成功积累经验。在这篇文章中用于突出与诺基亚保守策略的对比，强调冒险的重要性。

　　例句：The scientist discovered the cure for the disease through trial and error.通过反复试验，这位科学家发现了这种疾病的治愈方法。

　　venture(冒险去做), step out of its comfort zone(走出舒适区), taking chances(冒险尝试)：这三个表达都是take risks的同义替换。英语本身是一门多变化表达的语言，英语写作中可以根据实际语境来构思各种替换表达，增加语言多样性，当然这离不开平时的阅读和积累。

　　例句：It’s important for our team to step out of its comfort zone and embrace new challenges to grow and innovate.对我们的团队来说，走出舒适区并迎接新的挑战以实现成长和创新是很重要的。

　　culminate in(以...作为最终结果)：在这篇文章中用于强调诺基亚决策的负面结果。culminate in后面通常接一个名词或名词短语，表示最终结果。

　　例句：The series of meetings culminated in a successful agreement between the two companies.一系列会议最终达成了两家公司之间的成功协议。

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